A Story so Untrue You Have to Believe It’s Real A Story so Untrue You Have to Believe It’s Real On foot from Edinburgh to Canterbury for a once-in-a-decade conference on "What It Means to Be a High-Functioning Humanzee in a Mythological World", we are discussing the cultural fallout of "phase-three scholasticism", which has rocked the academic world and the Catholic Church in Ireland, and is responsible for the suicide of at least five university deans and three bishops, as w

Money Is Everything No, I don’t wish to talk about money. In no way does it interest me. I seek an infinite leap beyond money. Even with my good eye I am blind to it. How awful for a soul reliant on the body for money. If something has value it is desired. Money has value because it is desired. Everything adds up to money. Money is conceived through itself. Its essence involves existence. Money is the index of everything that’s false. An artist can make many things But money

WARNING: VERY EXPLICIT CONTENT. 18+ Der Aufklärer (The Enlightener) He watched her take a piss, using the online camera secreted in the pan of the toilet. She wiped herself from back to front, the ‘wrong way round,’ he thought. She did this twice. He masturbated hundreds of miles away and came in less than a minute. Dark thoughts gathered round him like crows, which he batted away. Now he had complete possession of the truth, obscene and pornographic. The motto all truth must

The Humanzee In the heat of a celluloid American night, Doctor Franklin Ahab — host to a crowd of forty souls — walks in a stately manner through the upper rooms of his Massachusetts mansion. He descends the wide staircase, smiling and reeling off witty one-liners. An orchestra plays The Rite of Spring in the enormous dining hall. For a few minutes Ahab casually mingles among his guests, then calls for the conductor to settle down. Hester, his life partner in a transparent d

Observations of Mountjoy Scott, the Earl of Ardenforde Lord Ardenforde opens a jewellery box to reveal a platinum brooch, rhodium watch, immortal diamond choker; and on the quiltwork, a tiger-eye necklace pendant. Exclamations clamour as seven yellow balloons ascend to the Taj Mahal painting that hangs from the ceiling beams. Soap-skinned Valentine looks on astonished, an obsequious grin dripping from his amazing hollow face. Plush telephones purr politely. Butler tuts at dis