Opulent Absurdities: The Aristocrat as Pataphysician Lord Ardenforde opens a jewellery box to reveal a platinum brooch, rhodium watch, immortal diamond choker; and on the quiltwork, a tiger-eye necklace pendant. Exclamations clamour as seven yellow balloons ascend to the Taj Mahal painting that hangs from the ceiling beams. Soap-skinned Valentine looks on astonished, an obsequious grin dripping from his amazing hollow face. Plush telephones purr politely.

A Brief Pataphysical Study of the Word ‘and’ in Poetic Titles When viewed under the lens of Alfred Jarry’s 'pataphysics — the so-called science of imaginary solutions that “symbolically attributes the properties of objects, described by their virtuality, to their lineaments” — the humble conjunction ‘and’ occupies a liminal space in poetic titles. Easily dismissed as a mere linguistic connector, ‘and’ here acts as a non-identical operator that defies conventional logic. Lon

# LanguageSpeaks ! A man carrying a voice recorder pauses at the door, enters. He looks a lot like Kafka but has the eyes of Tennyson. He possesses a picture of Saturn, and you don’t. It is green. If you like you can say the same. You can’t blame me for this. I am merely the host. The party has just begun. Enjoy yourself. He should have brought wine instead. Some people like voice recorders, some don’t. It’s not an issue. ‘Turn it down,’ he shouts. ‘I can’t

A Story so Untrue You Have to Believe It’s Real A Story so Untrue You Have to Believe It’s Real On foot from Edinburgh to Canterbury for a once-in-a-decade conference on "What It Means to Be a High-Functioning Humanzee in a Mythological World", we are discussing the cultural fallout of "phase-three scholasticism", which has rocked the academic world and the Catholic Church in Ireland, and is responsible for the suicide of at least five university deans and three bishops, as w

Money Is Everything No, I don’t wish to talk about money. In no way does it interest me. I seek an infinite leap beyond money. Even with my good eye I am blind to it. How awful for a soul reliant on the body for money. If something has value it is desired. Money has value because it is desired. Everything adds up to money. Money is conceived through itself. Its essence involves existence. Money is the index of everything that’s false. An artist can make many things But money

A tool for imitating movement, For the small things that penetrate, For the breath's expulsion ...

Synthesis Save us! A sex-fiend went to the wheel of the train. Is this the way out? Yes, but flies crawl downwards. I have a picture of Saturn. The situation has changed: it is the wrong kind of number. The babies are crying. Well, then, it must be a holiday. It is green. If you like you can say the same. “Diabetes is on the increase.” It is the Americas: they are pushing me. into something almost

Shouting in Brackets I here we are (1) sitting in a circle transmitting silences to each other and waiting (+1) for beginning to announce its ending (= 2) yesterday a mouth declared: “I am starving” (-1) but tomorrow was found wanting (-1) (= 0) II Bracketed, subjects recede into concealment & a clearing presents itself in which speech is revealed via objects III “What’s to understand but a bunch of nerves?” “A plastic oesophagus is a canal in an unusual context.